dear thursday:

Dear Thursday,

It’s Friday. And it’s been five months since I’ve posted anything in this blog. I’ve just been busy with university and as always, that comes first. I’ve never been the best multi tasker or the best time keeper but I am learning.

My book challenge hasn’t been going well in fact, I barely managed to read one book. SHOCKER! So I thought since university is over for the summer, I’d better work at it and read as many books as I can. I was going to create a summer reading list, but I haven’t even completed the challenge I already set myself. And I really want to complete this challenge.

As well as continue to blog.

So expect many book reviews to come, and little quirky posts that have nothing to do with anything. i.e. my dear Thursday posts.

Hoping to keep this blog a bit more professional. I haven’t done a book review for over a year. And so there’s that. Also on things to come: I’m setting myself a Jodi Picoult book challenge. I’ll write about this in more detail in a separate post but thought I’d just throw it up there.

Watch this space.

dear thursdays: the untitled.

Dear Thursday,

Today is the untitled because I can’t find a word in the dictionary to describe the day I just had. Well, it was mainly work. Work was just… mad.

I already knew that I didn’t want to work today, I just wasn’t in the mood and I would’ve rather stayed at home, in bed. But I still went. I work as a tutor and the job requires me to put on my ‘good face’ and be really bubbly. Don’t get me wrong, I do love my job but I was just having one of those days.

The beginning was ok, but it wasn’t till half way through my shift where I felt like I was going to lose it. I just had too many things going on and to top it off, we didn’t have enough tutors in. I even had a new child to tutor today, and I really wanted to make sure that they really enjoyed their session. But it hard because I had two kids who just weren’t concentrating at all and one was just not putting in the effort in his work.

And from the corner of my eye, I saw a parent sort of disapproving of something that their kid had done, and I had that kid so I feel like I had done something wrong. But couldn’t at all figure out what it was. The whole time, I really felt like my manager would come up to me any minute and have a word with me. Or here I am doing something wrong, me feeling like there is something wrong and no one coming up to tell me. I really felt like I wanted to hit my head against a post.

Things didn’t go according to plan later either, but I really didn’t want to relive what I went through because I wasn’t happy, at all. I just wanted to crawl into my imaginary cave, and not bother coming out.

I’m just glad that I’m at home now, but even then, I can’t help but think about work, and how things didn’t go to plan. I really hate this.

dear thursday: careers.

Dear Thursday,

I’m sorry that this post is a day late but I did have a very busy day. I didn’t get back home till ten in the evening, and I was too exhausted to do anything.

So this post is a day late.

So really, it should be titled ‘Dear Friday’. Anyway, I wanted to talk about Careers. I believe that this is totally different from the job you are currently working to earn yourself some extra money. Google defines this as:

 an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person’s life and with opportunities for progress.

In addition to this, I believe that a career must be something that you love. Something that you have a passion for. And you don’t mind waking up every morning to go to work. You love work. And you love what you do and can’t imagine yourself doing anything else in the world.

That is a career.

Probably from the second year of college, I realised that I really wanted to become a Speech and Language Therapist. Come university, and I realised how determined I was to become one. I even had a dream a few weeks ago of me being a Speech Therapist and opening up my own clinic and quality of service and care was the main ethos. I remember waking up from the dream feeling a bit weird and cringing but later, whilst sipping my tea (literally), I thought that this actually wasn’t a bad idea.

It made me realise even more how much I wanted to become a Speech Therapist and I quickly made a note on what I had to do to become one. I even had a frank discussion with my tutor who told me to focus more on getting experience than a first. Of course she didn’t discourage me from getting a first, but highlighted the importance of work experience.

Just thinking about not doing enough to get to where I want to be scares me. Yes, I do have fears and yes, I do think about those who are in a ‘better’ position than I am. And it’s scary that those who have a head start might just have that little edge over you, even when you put so much effort into working towards your career.

And its even scarier when you don’t have a back up plan. Because I can’t think of anything else I would want to do.



dear thursday: procrastination.

Dear Thursday,

I am clearly a master in the art of procrastination.

Every time before the new term starts, I tell myself that this would be the term where I’ll take on an assignment, and just work on it. Read about it, take in information, review my lecture notes and actually write it up. But then I realise that this is actually much more complicated than it seems. In fact, I go through about five phases of procrastination till I get to the next stage.

And thats a lot of procrastinating.

I think the reason why its so easy to procrastinate (well for me anyway) is because I make false promises to myself. I ‘promise’ that after half an hour of procrastinating, I will get back to my assignment. And why do I deserve to procrastinate? Well of course, I’ve been staring at this guide for about twenty minutes so surely I deserve a break? (not).

From now on when I’m doing assignments, I think I’m going to set small goals, and then reward myself by having a break for a few minutes. This usually means me just going on Tumblr or coming across that one video from the weird section on YouTube.

Though it really is easier said than done.


dear thursday: new year.

Dear Thursday,

It is the first day of the new year, the first of many. With a new year comes new resolutions and new promises; a statement to the world and to ourselves that we have gone and set a goal for ourselves. Some make reasonable and realistic goals like going to the gym twice a week, whilst others set themselves the unachieveable. Well, it probably is achievable, but not realistic for the individual.

I am guilty of the latter.

And I am guilty ten times over for the same reason.

When I set new years resolutions, the thought of my new goal excites me. I see the end goal before even considering the work I’ll have to put into achieving it. And for a few hours, I think that I can do it. A few hours later, reality hits and I’m faced with another fail at a resolution to add to my list.

What makes it so easy to set the unachieveable, and so hard to set something that is?

For one, I think I am excited by the idea of overachieving before I’ve even taken the first step. The idea is to satisfy my own self esteem by doing ‘more’ but I don’t even realise that I am setting myself up for failure and therefore, going back to square one with no self esteem and no sense of achievement.

And the cycle repeats itself. But, what can I do this year to change that?

Whatever it is, I am determined to have a better year. 2014 did have a lot of happiness, even during the summer celebrating my brothers graduation, I thought to myself in that moment that I was definitely happy. But looking back, the year did have many, many things happen that definitely weren’t in favour of me or my family. Stress. Of all forms combined was out to haunt me, and rid me of my sanity.

Could I have dealt with it better than I did? Probably.

Going into the new year, I’m feeling hopeful and optimistic. Please don’t be the worst year of my life. Hopefully, it will be the year where I set goals, and I achieve them. Like blogging every Thursday for a year for example. Or finishing projects that I started. Or keeping track with my healthy eating. That would be cool. All those would be cool, and I’d be satisfied with either of them.


a year of inconsistencies.

Fellow bloggers and silent readers,

For the last year or so, I truly realised that if there was one thing that I sucked at, it was being consistent. Not just with blogging but quite a few things and I’ll make a list now actually:

  • Being ‘healthy’
  • Sewing- I started a skirt project and now it’s at the back of my wardrobe, half done for about two months.
  • Knitting- I started a scarf project and it’s half done for about five months now.
  • Baking- I haven’t baked a thing.
  • NaNoWriMo- I only managed to write 3000 words and completely forgot about it.
  • Learning Espanol- inconsistent.
  • Reading books- I’ve had a massive TBR pile for a while now.
  • Blogging- inconsistent.
  • Updating my wattpad story- Been planning to update for almost half a year. Though I am considering leaving.

I think part of it is that I’m still discovering what I like and what I dislike. And the other bit is that I get discouraged really easily and for the next year, that is something that I really want to focus on. I mean, I like sewing and knitting and I really do want to start eating healthier and blogging more consistently and producing good content. All these things are things I do enjoy but it would be nice to stick to something and complete a project.

I’ve been really inspired by the blog A Year of Wednesdays to start posting regularly. One thing I do love doing is documenting my thoughts and I thought similarly to this project, I could document my thoughts for a year, one day a week. And everything else, I can slowly fit around that. They don’t even have to be my own thoughts, just little snippets of fiction or whatever. Recently, I haven’t been writing and for some reason, it’s been on hault. Maybe I haven’t really been inspired or whatever, but it would be nice to get started again.

And get started with this blog again.

Maybe the year 2015 will be a year of change for me. Well for this blog too.

I’ve contemplated starting a new blog and deleting this one but I can’t detach myself from this blog. Maybe because I’ve stuck to it for so long. That’s probably the reason actually. Either way, hopefully there should be new things coming your way. Better things.




NaNoWriMo: Introducing… ALICE!



Well… it’s not the official name for my NaNo Novel but it’ll do for now.

ALICEFRONTCOVERIgnore the name at the bottom. It was my pen name on Wattpad and then in amidst all the NaNo prep, I just couldn’t bring myself to make another one with said pen name removed. Although if you view it on the NaNo site, you can barely see it. This is probably one of the reasons why I didn’t bother making another one. If you click on the picture, you’ll be directed to my novel page where you can read the synopsis! Not that I’m 100% happy with it but oh well.

I thought I should also mention that I’ve just concluded my break from NaNo prep and will resume asap, especially since competition starts in FIVE DAYS! FIVE! I’ve still got tons to do but like I said, I’m not going to plan EVERYTHING. Sometimes, a little spontaneity is great! I also need to create a writing plan, so when I’m going to write on what day and how long I’m going to write for. I especially need to be strict with the latter as I have three university assignments due all on the same week, mid November. Yikes! So carefully planning is a must and I’m so thankful that I’ve invested in a planner this year!

How are you guys feeling with only five days left till NaNoWriMo starts?