I have tried to keep numerous new year’s resolutions in the past, ranging from the impossible to the usual cliches. But for 2016, I was going to keep my resolution as basic as possible, a resolution which would pretty much sum up everything in one; to do the best I can possibly do.
Especially now that I’m in my last year of university, and I’m venturing out into the adult world which, let’s face it, is pretty scary! But what with it being new years eve and all, I find myself reflecting back to how this year started, and where I am now.
This year did not start so great.
All of which are personal matters which I don’t really want to disclose and put out into the open, but it felt as if everything bad was happening to me and my family. And bad things always come at us in bulk, never in singular little packages. They hit us hard and heavy.
But one thing this year has taught/shown me is patience. I am reminded that at any stage of our lives, we face many tests. Whether it be one or a few at a time. And immediately our first instinct is we just lash out.
Why us? Why me? Why now?
The fact of the matter is, getting through ‘bad times’ with a temper and mood that can make hello kitty say her goodbyes, isn’t really the way forward. I’m not saying that it’s ok to plaster a smile when things aren’t so great either. Time is never constant and is always on the move, and similarly, we must do so as well. For nothing is ever permanent, and everything is pretty much temporary.
Oh it sounds so cliche but sometimes, the cliche is true. In the moment of your bad situation, nothing feels temporary. In fact, it haunts you everywhere and it reminds you of all the 101 possibilities that could happen next, and sends your brain into overdrive and then, you burst. And I mean mentally and physically.
Overthinking is my worst habit and plays mind games with me whenever I’m faced with a bad situation. And no doubt many others in a similar situation fall prey to it too. But sometimes amidst all the madness, I’m reminded that this bad situation isn’t forever. If it was forever, then truly, what is the point. These tests are specifically made for us to get through them.
I believe these tests are specifically designed to remind us about patience. We live in an ever changing, fast paced, ‘happens with a click of a button’, ‘I want it right now’ society. How are we even supposed to be patient in a society that believes in the complete opposite?
Right now, I am in a waaay better position than I was earlier this year and I couldn’t have gotten through the challenges without reminding myself about the godsend that is patience.
I’m trying my best to be optimistic about the new year, and some part of me really does feel optimistic. But to be honest, I’m scared. I’m scared about the new challenges that I will face, and the ‘oh shit, things didn’t go according to plan, what do I do now?’ stage of my life. But whatever I decide to do, I hope that whatever 2015 taught me will come in handy for the new year.